Campfire Classics Podcast

A Literary Comedy podcast where we try to read those books that look good on your shelf…and laugh a lot along the way!

A Good Many Insertions

November 30th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Here at Campfire Classics, the coming of the holiday season means only one thing.  A shift in the tone of our stories.  It’s time to leave the mysteries and frivolities of the rest of the year behind and turn our minds back to that genre truly synonymous with Christmas...GHOST STORIES!

Emily is back behind the mic, coming at us from Connecticut.  Ken has chosen a story for her from long time Campfire Classics favorite M.R. James.  The story is called "The Diary of Mr. Poynter", and though it is a slow burn to the spookiness, it definitely gets to that creeping horror we've come to expect from his writing.

In the tradition of great episodes before, this one devolves into bouts of giddy laughter as Ken and Emily discuss Thanksgiving cuteness, perpetually wet spots, and a sexual goat auntie.

"The Diary of Mr. Poynter" was first published in Ghost Stories of an Antiquary in 1904.

Also, the 2022 calendar featuring co-host Ken in Halloween animal ears is now available on our website!

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Alien Sex Party

November 23rd, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Happy American Thanksgiving, if you celebrate that holiday.  If you don't, Happy Alien Sex Party Day.  If you are unfamiliar with this holiday, that's because I am making it up right now as I write this episode blurb.

Heather is out of quarantine and performing, but she was able to squeeze us in to her busy schedule long enough to select a story for Ken to read.  This week's story is the misleadingly titled "The Vegans Were Curious" by possible extra terrestrial Winston K. Marks. 

The story is an interstellar romp through human/alien relations, but even that isn't enough to keep our hosts focused for long, as discussion topics cover...well, actually a lot of it is almost on topic.  Vegan Thanksgiving recipes, vegan celebrities, and is "going down" vegan?

Our sincere apologies to any vegans we might offend.  It was unintentional, and as you'll see, completely unnecessary. 

"The Vegans Were Curious" was first published in Imagination in 1954.  Extensive research has discovered no evidence that the story is still in copyright.  If we are wrong, please let us know so that we can docilely accept our punishments.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Moaning in the Dark

November 16th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

We're on a roll now!  Two in a row with your favorite hosts.  Heather is once again recording from quarantine on board a cruise ship, but, by the time you're reading this she's FREE!

Not that she's been counting the days.  Or hours.  Or seconds.

This week, Ken has selected a story for Heather to read.  Written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, this non-Sherlock Holmes related story is called "Playing with Fire".  Despite this title, you will be relieved (or disappointed) to know that neither of your hosts sets anything on fire during this episode. 

It is a wild story which features a Campfire Classics first!  but you'll have to listen to find out what that is.  Along the way, Ken and Heather discuss how to infiltrate a secret military base, the history of bodybuilding, and...whoa there, buddy, is that a unicorn in your pocket or...well, you know the rest.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Blame It On the Thong

November 9th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

With Heather reporting in from shipboard quarantine off the coast of Puerto Rico, it's time for another episode of your favorite "edu-taining" "literary" "comedy" podcast.  Wow, that's a lot of sarcastic quotey fingers...

But, Heather is back at the mic, and she has selected a story for Ken to read from a new (to us) author name Laura E. Richards.  The story is called "Maine to the Rescue", and though there is a little confusion at first regarding what the heck is actually happening, once we get into the meat of the story it is charming.

In truth, the bulk of the episode seems to be a subtle game of "Tell me how old you are without telling me how old you are" as your hosts get sidetracked making jokes about Sir Mix-a-Lot, Sisqó, and Milli Vanilli.  They also discuss starting a new podcast, the origins of American sign language, and babies in thongs.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Beef Tornados (Season 2, Episode 15)

November 2nd, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Heather is getting on a ship!  Like, tomorrow.  Or possibly yesterday!  I don't know what day it is, but the point is she was unable to join us this week.  I have it on good authority this is going to stop happening soon.

But for this week, Ken is joined by Kim Wilpon, who tries her hand at reading a story by our muse, Dame Agatha Christie.  It's her first foray in into co-hosting with us, but you may recognize her voice from her brief appearance a couple of weeks back when she told all about her series "Kim Wilpon Crafts".  Or maybe you skipped that part because it was advertising.

Anyway, after taking a short break to watch this video, they get to the story.  This week it is "The Adventure of the Italian Nobleman".  As Kim tries to read the story, she is briefly distracted by Ken's insistence that Arsenio was a contemporary of Poirot, a discussion of beef tornados, and questioning just what is in June's mouth!

You can follow Kim on YouTube or the social media by searching for Kim Wilpon Crafts!

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Vampire Trees! (Season 2, Episode 14)

October 26th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

We've got heather back for 1 hour during a rehearsal break! Can we do it?  Could anybody do it?  Is it madness to even try? Record an episode of Campfire Classics in such a short time!? Can Ken and Heather stay on track!?

Let's find out...

Well, it's Halloween, or close enough, and since last week's story was less scary than anticipated, we've decided to go with the never miss spookiness of H.P. Lovecraft.  This week's story is called "The Unnamable", which seems inherently false advertising.  If you name something "The Unnamable" it is no longer unnamable.  Lies!  Lies on the level of "The Neverending Story"!

That bit of perturbation dealt with, the story is really quite engaging, despite a few tangents during which your hosts discuss:
Dicks and why they are always swinging.
The origins of Harry Potter's name.
And, of course, arboreal vampirism.  Look at the episode title.

Ken's Fun Facts are all about the history of Halloween, so if you want to learn a bit about our author, check out episode number 11, titled "Don't Go in the Moist Hole" where Heather tries to read the story "The Tomb". 

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Time Pieces and Cabbages (Season 2, Episode 13)

October 19th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

With Heather deep in rehearsals for Footloose she was sadly unavailable this week.  Fortunately, guest host Emily has graciously agreed to return to the campfire!

Ken has selected a story by Edgar Allan Poe, because it's October and Poe is good for spooky season.  The story, maintaining the satanic theme of last week, is called "The Devil in the Belfry".  It is, however, much less traumatizing than the last Poe story we read.  If you would like to listen back to that episode (and really upset yourself) you can check it out at Edgar Allan Poe-nus Episode.

This is a surprisingly light story for a Poe crafted tale, so Ken and Emily are free to pontificate the usual absurdities.
Ken plans his Halloween costume.
Emily discovers she has a disappointingly good Dutch accent.
And both ponder the value of a pet Cabbage.

This week's episode sponsored by Kim Wilpon Crafts.  Go check her out, say thank you, and tell her you want Ken to be a guest crafter on her YouTube Channel!

Also, here is that Pas de Zephyr video.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

The Opposite of a Midwife (Season 2, Episode 12)

October 12th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

This week, we're doing some special "Platinum Members Only" content.  But don't worry regular listeners, you're only missing some minor gymnastics work and a brief eyeliner tutorial.

Other than that, it's business as usual here at Campfire Classics.  Heather has chosen a short story by Guy de Maupassant again and continues to struggle with his name.  For details on his life, check out Season 1, Episode 48 entitled Naked Stew!

The story is called "The Devil," and without giving too much away, the devil is bad.  In addition to disagreeing over what kind of story this is (stay tuned until the end to find out how you can weigh in) your hosts also:
Share makeup tips.
Discuss new job opportunities.
And possibly invent a new kink!

And Happy Birthday, Ken.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Doody Calls (Season 2, Episode 11)

October 5th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Did you get the title?  It's "doody" instead of "duty".  Because it's a bathroom joke!

That's right loyal listeners, this week our hosts are explaining all of their jokes!  After complaints that the humor has become too sophisticated and high brow everything is getting dumbed down just a little more.  Can you believe it!?

Heather is reading this week, and Ken chose another short story from recent fan and host favorite author Mack Reynolds (Season 2, Episode 3 "Sex Fly").  The story is called "Potential Enemy", and once Heather gets through reading the title, it moves along nicely, with only slight diversions to talk about things like:
Our plan to end climate change.
The greed of wanting friends AND money.
And the difference between callouses and hemorrhoids.

And the moral of the story is...

Probably something we missed entirely.  But let us know what you think anyway.

"Potential Enemy" was published in Orbit SciFi in 1953.  Extensive research has been unable to find any evidence of a current copyright.  If you know of any reason this story might not be in public domain, keep it to yourself.  No one needs that negative energy in their life.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

What happens in the Locker Room… (Season 2, Episode 10)

September 28th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Reunited and it feels so good!
or
Almost Heaven.  West Virginia.
or
Guess who's back.  Back again.

Whatever musical theme you choose for this episode, I promise, it's a good one.  Heather has joined Ken in Lewisburg, WV, and together they work their way through another story.  This week, Heather has brought back Ambrose Bierce, last appearing in Episode 12, so that Ken can read the story "Beyond the Wall".

Heather does sing a lot, and the whole show briefly teeters on the edge of become a GoT fancast, but your fearless hosts get us back on track by keeping us off track with such topics as:
The disappearance of Jack Black.
Horror with a side of French Toast.
And the potential devastation of an ill timed fart.

Plus, believe it or not, Ken gets briefly poignant as he pontificates on the importance of emotional honesty.  Like really.  It's touching.  And weird.

"Beyond the Wall" was published in Cosmopolitan in 1907.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Who‘s That Girl? (Season 2, Episode9)

September 21st, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Don't panic, but I think there's something different about this week.  If you listen VERY carefully, you might notice what it is.

Oh no, now I have to try to not give away the surprise in this blurb.  Hmmm...that'll be tricky...

Okay, this week your hosts **giggle giggle** are tackling another mystery from the Campfire muse Agatha Christie.  One of you hosts **giggle snort** reads the story "The Case of the Missing Will".  But I'll confess it feels a little strange.  Almost as though one of the hosts is feeling quite like themself **poorly suppressed laugh**.

Of course, the stupidity and overt NSFWness is the same as ever.  Off topic conversations include:
What animal has the best ears?
When is "handsome" not a compliment?
And what would a sex show at Hand Lotion Manor look like?

"The Case of the Missing Will" was published in Poirot Investigates in 1923.

Our promo this week is **chortle** for a person, not a podcast.  Go say hi to Emily Bosco at emilybosco.com and tell her she's awesome!

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

The Baum 2.0 (Season 2, Episode 8)

September 14th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Wow!  This is a weird one.  Our hosts recorded from different timezones!  That's nothing new for most podcasts, but this was an odd experience here at Campfire Classics.

Regardless, this week, our intrepid heroes return to the writing of one Mr. L. Frank Baum.  Last tackled back in January, this episode comes jam packed with new facts about the author and TWO new stories.  That's right folks, it's a two for one deal!  "The Queen of Quok" and "The Girl Who Owned a Bear" all in one sitting! You can't miss that.

Hijinks and shenanigans ensue as Heather tries to carve her way through these two stories.  We learn that that "peg-topping" is not as kinky as it sounds, we hear ALL of heather's voices, and we invent "desecration yoga" (tm).  All in a days work.

"The Queen of Quok" and "The Girl Who Owned a Bear" were both published in American Fairy Tales in 1901.

Promo this week from Ta2squid Podcast.  Check him out, and tell him you want to hear Campfire Classics on his show!

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Tequila! (Season 2, Episode 7)

September 7th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Neither rain, nor snow, nor too many Margaritas shall keep us from bringing you this show.

And this week, we test a part of that promise.  But which part? I'll bet you can guess!

This week Ken gets to read a loopholed Public Domain story from beloved children's author and apparent psychopath Roald Dahl.  Heather has chosen for Ken a story called "Lamb to the Slaughter," and I have it on good authority that it's not nearly as depressing as that title makes it sound!

It's a twisted web our author weaves.  Unsurprising if you've actually read the horrifying book version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  And along the way our hosts get some real good work done, like starting a Happy Birthday choir, dashing their own political futures, and asking the age old question "Have you ever seen a sheep nipple?

"Lamb to the Slaughter" was first published in 1953 and has since been adapted into an episode of Alfred Hitchcock presents.  Well Alfred, I guess great minds do think alike.
Research has not discovered a renewal of the copyright on this story.  If you own the copyright, please contact us and we will take all appropriate action after saying only a small handful of snarky things to you.

Promo this week from Hindsight Movie Reviews, a podcast that has Ken actively seeking a guest spot.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

The Drag Queen Chaperone (Season 2, Episode 6)

August 31st, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Bienvenue, nos amis!  Welcome, our friends!

That's right! This week we're taking a crack at French literature, and Heather gets to swing at that sweet sweet troubling language.

Our story today comes from author Maurice Marie Émile Leblanc, a French writer often compared favorably to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  The story Ken has chosen for Heather is called "The Arrest of Arsène Lupin," and is the first ever appearance of the great gentleman-burglar and detective Arsène Lupin.

It is a fascinating case, but not so fascinating that our hosts stay completely on topic.  To Ken and Heather's credit, their tangents are almost relevant this time 

We have officially entered the Brenaissance Era.
Wine glass symphonies are under utilized.
Don't mount booty in public.

"The Arrest of Arsène Lupin" was first published in 1905 and started nearly 30 years worth of crime and mystery stories.

Promo this week from Boozed and Confused, another couple hosted podcast that delves in to the odd, creepy, and possibly supernatural mysteries in our history.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? (Season 2, Episode 5)

August 24th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

This week's author is a man who has not only been suspected of actual time travel, but has also been compared to American National Treasure Nick Cage.

Did you get my pun?  National Treasure?

Graham Green (the writer, not the actor from Dances With Wolves) wrote "The End of the Party," and then almost a hundred years later Heather decided Ken should read it.  So he did.  And now you are moments away from listening to that very read.  So in a way, you too are an actor in Dances With Wolves.

As is always the case our hosts do their best to stay on topic, but important things do have a way of derailing them.

What are the rules to Stab Apple?
How bad is inbreeding?
And why are kids so terrible? But really, kids, can't you just be cool?

"The End of the Party" was first published in 1929 and has been reprinted in many anthologies.  Graham Greene considered it one of his best stories.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Don’t Try This at Home (Season 2, Episode 4)

August 17th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Are you ready for some new bits!? Here comes Science: Just in Case, a new segment of questionable scientific value where Ken explores stupid ways to set things on fire and Heather listens on in abject horror.

The we get to the literature. This week, Heather reads for us another tale from SciFi great H. G. Wells. Ken has chosen a story called "The Truth About Pyecraft". But you could be forgiven for hearing "Pie Craft".  We were definitely hoping for a story about baked goods and witches.

This weeks story comes with an extra little content warning because the narrator is pretty callous and careless about body shaming.  What a dick.

Also, fair warning you will hear:
Stupid things you should not do at home with household items (and when you don't do it, also don't send picture **winky face**).
A very unappetizing tea recipe.
An unpopular opinion about the television program The Office.

"The Truth About Pyecraft" was first published in 1903 in The Strand, which is almost as cool as Highlights for Kids.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Sex Fly (Season 2, Episode 3)

August 10th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Let's kill Hitler!

Good, now we have your attention! Our story this week was chosen by Heather.  It's another of those strange, more recent stories that managed to slip between the copyright cracks back in the '50s.  Author Mack Reynolds, sometimes known as "Maxine", has a fascinating first in literature related to the Star Trek universe. But, this week's tale, while still SciFi, stays a little closer to home. While Ken reads "Unborn Tomorrow," your hosts run off on the usual tangents and memories form their past.

Which one of our hosts once set themself on fire?
Where would you go to find an orgy?
And why is the government bugging our room?

"Unborn Tomorrow" was first published in Astounding Science Fiction June 1959. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed, so if you own the copyright...you screwed up!

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Eggplants All Night Long (Season 2, Episode 2)

August 3rd, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

This week's piquant tale is a puerile journey of perfidious intimacy bred of propinquity. Also, we learned a lot of new words that we wanted to squeeze into this intro!!

Our story was chosen by Ken from the catalogue of Brazilian Literature.  Author Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis, a criminally under appreciated artist in the English speaking world, brought us "The Fortune Teller," a short that will certainly please any fans of the Soap Opera or Telenovela genre.  And really anyone else.  Filled with over the top emotions, and a shocking number of Shakespeare references, this story literally fixed Heather's brain.  Just ask her.

Over the hour-ish long episode, your hosts dive into the writing, but also discuss such topics as:
Who's hot for teacher?
Can nuns run track?
What is the significance of raisins?

"The Fortune Teller" was first published in Portuguese in 1884, and this translation into English was made in 1921.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Sir Johnny Bangs (Season 2, Episode 1)

July 27th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

It's the season 2 premiere!

Which really means nothing more than we're restarting the episode count because it feels cool.

This week, Heather has selected a story for Ken to read by an author unknown to either of our hosts before this reading.  His name was John Kendrick Bangs, and he might have invented an adult film genre.  Or possibly just ghost story sub-genre.  You know it's hard to tell sometimes.  Regardless, the story is called The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall: A Victorian Christmas Spirit Story," and Ken gives a pretty good effort at reading it.

Along the way, the hosts ask:
Whose job is it to get things wet?
How would you deal with a ghost?
And who would you curse with perpetual mildew?

"The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" was the titular story in the 1894 collection The Water Ghost, and Others.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

Now sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 57- Full Service Solicitor

July 20th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Happy anniversary!

We've been doing this for a year! A full trip around the sun! 12 calendar pages! 57 episodes in 365 days.

To celebrate, we're reading a detective story by a woman who is one of the most important writers in the genre.  But no, it's not Agatha.  This week's story, "The Ninescore Mystery", was written by Baroness Emma Orczy, best known today for the stories of The Scarlet Pimpernel.

This story centers on a detective known as Lady Molly and her sidekick Mary. They get up to delightful shenanigans, and along the way your hosts tackle hard hitting issues like accents that melt cheese, the worst Bennet sister, and questionable hair gel.

"The Ninescore Mystery" was first published in the the 1910 collection Lady Molly of Scotland Yard.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This week's promo is for SpyHards Podcast.  Give them a listen and let us know if they set you to melting and quivering.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 56- Taco Tuesday

July 13th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Have you had your taco today?

This week, your hosts extend a tentative olive branch to recent Campfire Classics villain Mark Twain as they read the short story that made him famous "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County".  Heather chose this story, and Ken does his best to read it, but it isn't a straight path through.  Along the way your literary companions get distracted by Philadelphia geography, spaying and neutering pets, and beefy tacos.

"The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County" was first published in  the November 18, 1865 edition of The New York Saturday Press where it was wildly popular and catapulted Twain into the public eye. It has since been included in several short story collections.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This week's promo is for Superiority Complex Podcast.  Check them out, and tell them their nerd friends at Campfire Classics sent you.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 55- Potato Munchin’ Jelly Sack

July 6th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

"It started with a load of potatoes."

What started!? And what did potatoes have to do with it!?

These questions and more will be answered in this week's story "The Thing in the Truck," read by host Heather Michele Lawler and written by Darius John Granger.  Kinda.  Probably. In a manner of speaking.  It's another twisting turning tale from the catalogue of pulp fiction, and is another story in public domain because of one of those legal loopholes Ken has gotten so good at finding.

Other questions discussed this week include:
Who has the best bourbon in Kentucky?
What does a shifting sack sound like?
And am I hungry or horny?

"The Thing in the Truck" was first published in Imagination Science Fiction in 1956.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This week we are making unsolicited recommendations that you try bourbon from Wilderness Trail, Castle & Key, and Jeptha Creed. And if you go to Jeptha Creed, say hi to Mary.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 54- Scratch & Sniff Horse Butts

June 29th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

It's a party!!

A Baby Party!!

What? You don't know what a baby party is?  That's okay, neither did your hosts before reading this week's story entitled "The Baby Party" by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  If you're thinking it's a party where someone is going to juggle babies, you're wrong.  Probably.  Maybe.  Actually, we're still not entirely sure on that part.

This week is full of discoveries!  What is the word Ken apparently cannot say?  Who has the best pizza in small town western North Carolina?  And...wait...what was that about juggling babies?  That's a joke, right?

"The Baby Party" was first published in Hearst's International Cosmopolitan, or as it is known today Cosmo Magazine, in February 1925.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from It Goes Down in the PM.  Check it out.  It really does go down!

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 53- Worship the Lady Horse-o-Puss

June 22nd, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Some content may not be suitable for children.

Or adults.

Or people with high class standards.

This week, Ken has dug up a story for Heather to read from the catacombs of pulp fiction magazines.  The story is "The Thing on the Roof" by Robert E. Howard.

And folks, this one gets weird.  Like...weird.

Heather discovers her Achilles' Heel is the word "particularly".
Ken very nearly chokes to death because of a flashlight.
And how would you pronounce the word "euhlagiujovff"?

"The Thing on the Roof" was first published in the Weird Tales in 1932, and is only available to us because the author's tragically early death was over 70 years ago.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from Twisted and Uncorked.  They'll keep you up at night.  And then we'll put you to sleep. Apparently.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 52- Screw You Mark Twain

June 15th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Well, this episode comes with a content warning.

Not because it's especially vulgar, just because we decided it's finally time to add one of those.

So, there's the business out of the way.  Now for the fun stuff.

This week's story was selected by Heather and was written by Bret "Not The Hit Man" Harte.  My apologies to anyone who is not a fan of '90s WWF wrestling.  That joke was a little niche.

The story in question, "Tennessee's Partner", is a truly charming and heartfelt story.  So naturally our hosts try to make fun of it.  But despite their best efforts, the story is really what really shines through in this one.

Of course, Heather and Ken still hit many absurd talking points along the way.  What name would you choose for yourself if you could?  Why do some people (Heather) insist on finding clever segues?  And why was Mark Twain such a dick?

"Tennessee's Partner" was first published in the Overland Monthly in 1869, and has been described as "one of the earliest 'buddy' stories in American fiction."

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from The insanely Dangerous Retro Podshow .  We may not entirely understand what they're all about.  But damn, we like!!

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 51- Muff Pincher

June 8th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

With 50 episodes in the bag, it felt like time to return to our roots.  So here's another story from our muse, Agatha Christie.

But it's not a Poirot mystery this time.  Oh no, this week Ken is giving Heather a Tommy and Tuppence mystery.  Which means Heather definitely won't have to pull out her questionable French accent. Right?

Well, the adorable detective couple, Tommy and Tuppence, get up to some wild hijinks, and along the way your favorite podcasting couple discuss many of life's little quandaries.  What do you use a Brownie for? How do you practice detective-ing? What would you put in your muff?

"The Affair of the Pink Pearl" is most commonly found in the book Partners in Crime published in 1929, however, it made its first appearance in The Sketch in 1924.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from Life Paranormal with V.  Do you have a personal experience with the paranormal?

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 50- Don’t Google That

June 1st, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

We're ringing in June with our 50th episode!

50!

Like, we actually made it to 50 stories...

Okay, 49 stories, since "A Scandal in Bohemia" took up episodes four and five, but you get the point!

And the honor of the author of episode number 50 goes to none other than Oscar Wilde.

Ken gets to read this one, and it is a laugh riot. "The Remarkable Rocket" had our hosts in stitches even when it wasn't making accidental pornographic double entendres. But what else do you expect from one of the greatest comedic linguists in English speaking history.

After Heather reads a bit about Mr. Wilde, we dive into the story, posing some important questions along the way.

What is the most awkward thing you've ever had to google?
Who is the most sensitive person you can think of?
And when did we stop getting two middle names?

"The Remarkable Rocket" was first published in 1888 in The Happy Prince and Other Tales, a collection of five fairytales written by Oscar Wilde.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from Malice.  Ariel is incredible in her in depth analysis of the cases she chooses, so definitely, give her a listen.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 49- A Bodice Ripper

May 25th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Oh my!  This one gets steamy!

That's right, for the first time, Campfire Classics is taking on a romance novel.  And one written by the incomparable Mary Shelley titled simply "The Dream".

This episode runs a touch long because all the heaving bosoms got our hosts a little worked up, but along the way they still manage to tackle the usual array of important world issues. What gives you rage? Who the hell is Dan Apollo? And why aren't there more rock songs about pasta?

"The Dream" was first published in The Keepsake in 1832.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from Film Rage. Give them a listen, and tell us what makes you rage.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 48- Naked Stew

May 18th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

You'll never believe what Heather says to Ken at the end of this episode!!!

That's how clickbait works, right? Annoying headline to get you to click the link?

As long as you're here, you may as well listen to this week's story by French author Guy de Maupassant.  A name which Heather chose and still never managed to pronounce quite right.  But that's okay, the title of the story is blessedly easy to pronounce. "The Necklace".

This story has a surprise ending that would make M. Night Shyamalan jealous (speaking of hard to pronounce names...), but before we reach the end our hosts discuss the sketchiest way to travel, a truly unconventional Project Runway challenge, and dive deep into the best foods to cook naked.

Plus big news is revealed in the beginning, and a listener challenge is set at the end, so listen up for those.

"The Necklace" was first published on 17 February 1884 in the French newspaper Le Gaulois.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from Ratchet Book Club. This show is hilarious.  Go check it out. After you've listened to us.

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 47- Lesbian Vampires on Broadway

May 11th, 2021

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!

Okay, we may as well be upfront.  This one goes off the rails a bit.  But that's some of the fun!  Right?

Right?

This weeks author is a man with a very cool name, who was recommended to us through social media:  Sheridan Le Fanu.  His story "Dickon the Devil" (hmm...that's two in row Ken has picked with "Devil" in the title) provides the fodder for this weeks ridiculousness.

Amidst the the wacky hijinks, Heather and Ken tackle some hard hitting issues like:
What is your favorite verse to that classic diarrhea song?
What joke made Ken fall for Heather?
What do you look at like a Hand of Glory?

Also, Ken reveals a secret that Heather never knew!  Stick around to the end to find out what.

"Dickon the Devil" was first published in London Society, Christmas Number, 1872. Republished posthumously in the 1923 collection Madam Crowl's Ghost and Other Tales of Mystery, edited by our favorite ghost story author, M. R. James.

Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.

This weeks promo is from The Path Went Chilly.  Check them out for some cold case analysis. 

So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

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