Campfire Classics Podcast

Episode 51- Muff Pincher

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
With 50 episodes in the bag, it felt like time to return to our roots.  So here's another story from our muse, Agatha Christie.
But it's not a Poirot mystery this time.  Oh no, this week Ken is giving Heather a Tommy and Tuppence mystery.  Which means Heather definitely won't have to pull out her questionable French accent. Right?
Well, the adorable detective couple, Tommy and Tuppence, get up to some wild hijinks, and along the way your favorite podcasting couple discuss many of life's little quandaries.  What do you use a Brownie for? How do you practice detective-ing? What would you put in your muff?
"The Affair of the Pink Pearl" is most commonly found in the book Partners in Crime published in 1929, however, it made its first appearance in The Sketch in 1924.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
This weeks promo is from Life Paranormal with V.  Do you have a personal experience with the paranormal?
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 50- Don't Google That

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
We're ringing in June with our 50th episode!
50!
Like, we actually made it to 50 stories...
Okay, 49 stories, since "A Scandal in Bohemia" took up episodes four and five, but you get the point!
And the honor of the author of episode number 50 goes to none other than Oscar Wilde.
Ken gets to read this one, and it is a laugh riot. "The Remarkable Rocket" had our hosts in stitches even when it wasn't making accidental pornographic double entendres. But what else do you expect from one of the greatest comedic linguists in English speaking history.
After Heather reads a bit about Mr. Wilde, we dive into the story, posing some important questions along the way.
What is the most awkward thing you've ever had to google?Who is the most sensitive person you can think of?And when did we stop getting two middle names?
"The Remarkable Rocket" was first published in 1888 in The Happy Prince and Other Tales, a collection of five fairytales written by Oscar Wilde.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
This weeks promo is from Malice.  Ariel is incredible in her in depth analysis of the cases she chooses, so definitely, give her a listen.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 49- A Bodice Ripper

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Oh my!  This one gets steamy!
That's right, for the first time, Campfire Classics is taking on a romance novel.  And one written by the incomparable Mary Shelley titled simply "The Dream".
This episode runs a touch long because all the heaving bosoms got our hosts a little worked up, but along the way they still manage to tackle the usual array of important world issues. What gives you rage? Who the hell is Dan Apollo? And why aren't there more rock songs about pasta?
"The Dream" was first published in The Keepsake in 1832.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
This weeks promo is from Film Rage. Give them a listen, and tell us what makes you rage.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 48- Naked Stew

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
You'll never believe what Heather says to Ken at the end of this episode!!!
That's how clickbait works, right? Annoying headline to get you to click the link?
As long as you're here, you may as well listen to this week's story by French author Guy de Maupassant.  A name which Heather chose and still never managed to pronounce quite right.  But that's okay, the title of the story is blessedly easy to pronounce. "The Necklace".
This story has a surprise ending that would make M. Night Shyamalan jealous (speaking of hard to pronounce names...), but before we reach the end our hosts discuss the sketchiest way to travel, a truly unconventional Project Runway challenge, and dive deep into the best foods to cook naked.
Plus big news is revealed in the beginning, and a listener challenge is set at the end, so listen up for those.
"The Necklace" was first published on 17 February 1884 in the French newspaper Le Gaulois.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
This weeks promo is from Ratchet Book Club. This show is hilarious.  Go check it out. After you've listened to us.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 47- Lesbian Vampires on Broadway

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Okay, we may as well be upfront.  This one goes off the rails a bit.  But that's some of the fun!  Right?
Right?
This weeks author is a man with a very cool name, who was recommended to us through social media:  Sheridan Le Fanu.  His story "Dickon the Devil" (hmm...that's two in row Ken has picked with "Devil" in the title) provides the fodder for this weeks ridiculousness.
Amidst the the wacky hijinks, Heather and Ken tackle some hard hitting issues like:What is your favorite verse to that classic diarrhea song?What joke made Ken fall for Heather?What do you look at like a Hand of Glory?
Also, Ken reveals a secret that Heather never knew!  Stick around to the end to find out what.
"Dickon the Devil" was first published in London Society, Christmas Number, 1872. Republished posthumously in the 1923 collection Madam Crowl's Ghost and Other Tales of Mystery, edited by our favorite ghost story author, M. R. James.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
This weeks promo is from The Path Went Chilly.  Check them out for some cold case analysis. 
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 46- No Win Situation

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
It's May!  It's May!  The lusty month of May!  And this week's episode is full of unexpected musical theatre references.  But that is beside the point.
The point, when we come to it, is reading old stories, and in this episode Heather has chosen a story for Ken to read called "The Phantom Coach" by a fascinating woman named Amelia Edwards.  It's a moody, broody, winter night on the moors kind of tale, so strap in.
But don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom.  As promised, non-sequiturs abound as Ken and Heather discuss hallucinogenic scotch, the origins of Schoolhouse Rock, and 14 year old polyamorous spinsters.
"The Phantom Coach" was first published in 1864.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
Another big thank you to Wayne and his podcast Florida Men on Florida Man, for helping make last week far and away our biggest week for listener numbers.  Learn more at www.fmofm.com
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

True Crimes and a Lie, Vol.9

Welcome to True Crimes and a Lie, the gameshow within our podcast where we try to tell the difference between truth and lies.
We're not good at it.
This month's TCaaL comes from Episode 45 of Campfire Classics, and is possibly the most absurd episode we've released yet.
Our guest Wayne joins us from Florida Men on Florida Man, and it is just possible that his Florida based understanding of truly bizarre crimes will give him the edge needed to solve this month's riddle.  You can catch him with his regular crew every week at FMoFM.com.
 
 

Episode 45- Captain B.O.

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Everyone's favorite gameshow is back, and this time with special guest contestant, Wayne from the podcast Florida Men on Florida Man. With his insider knowledge of strange crimes and bizarre stories, can he help Heather find the lie, or will Ken prove too tricky for them?  Either way, Wayne is a great addition to the True Crimes and a Lie team.  Do not miss it.
Once that craziness wraps up, we move on to our story.  Ken has selected "Daniel and the Devil" by Eugene Field, and Heather gives a fabulous reading which is interrupted by tangents that seem to be 80% more relevant than usual. This will delight many of our regular listeners.  If it disappoints you, don't worry, next week will probably be back the regular amount of non-sequiturs.
This episode introduces such hard hitting issues as:Who is the hero we deserve?Is Satan one of our patrons?andWhat are the origins of "dude"?
"Daniel and the Devil" was first published in 1888.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
Our guest, Wayne, came to us from Florida Men on Florida Man.  Learn more at www.fmofm.com
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.
 
 

Episode 44- Harass 'em with Butter

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
What do you get when you mix two quarantined actors, a long dead author, and a bottle of wine?
Well, you're here, so you've probably guessed the answer is: an Episode of Campfire Classics!
This week it's Ken's turn to read, and Heather has selected a story that has been adapted and referenced countless times in television, film, and other media. "The Monkey's Paw" by W. W. Jacobs.  It is a truly classic tale of the macabre.  Along the way, our hosts discuss wine and movie snack pairings, dream up a new crime solving duo, and definitely do not officially condone attacking your enemies with sticks of butter.
"The Monkey's Paw" was first published in England in the collection The Lady of the Barge in 1902.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
Promo from Let Me Tell You Somethin', Bitch.  Learn more at letmebitchbitch.com
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 43- Pardonnez Moi!

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Thanks for coming back!
This week is big one!  The story comes from a classic author so American he was born the same year the USA won its independence (and we'll leave you to decide for yourself how you feel about that).  Washington Irving wrote some of the first American stories and novels that got to be called literature.  This week, Heather is reading "The Adventure of My Uncle", a story from a quirky collection from an even quirkier author.  Listen, we think you'll agree.
Along the way, we cover such topics as drunken twitterpation, the relative safety of strange mansions in the woods, and creepypasta.
Plus, there's a musical callback to a previous episode!
"The Adventure of My Uncle" was first published as part of Tales of a Traveler in 1824.
Remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
Promo from A Few Bad Apples.  Learn more at podpage.com/a-few-bad-apples/
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 42- Nice Hat, Brah!

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
It's the first week of April, but we know you're no fool!  How could we possibly know that you ask!?  Because you're here, listening to us.
This week's story comes from a new (to us) author that you probably read in school.  Or you're like Ken and Heather and you didn't.  Either way, Nathaniel Hawthorne is most famous today for having written The Scarlet Letter, but it's his short fiction we're interested in.  Specifically the story "The Minister's Black Veil".
The reading gets underway after some chat about holiday mascots and a brief Fozzie Bear impersonation.  Conversation topics to listen for include rope tugging, open communication, and and the Great Pyramid (scheme) of Literature.
"The Minister's Black Veil"was first published in 1836 in The Token and Atlantic Souvenir. It also appears in Twice-Told Tales, a collection of short stories by Hawthorne published in 1837.
And remember to tell five friends to check out Campfire Classics.
Promo from I Had to Say It.  Learn more at ihadtosayitpodcast.com
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 41- Crotch of Shame

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Ken threw a little curve ball this week with some fun facts that have nothing to do with the story. What are those facts about? You'll have to listen to find out.
This week's author is a Campfire Classics regular, SciFi great H.G. Wells.  For facts on him, go check out Episodes 3 and 8.  The story is "The Red Room," and Heather's reading is strangely reminiscent of an episode of Frasier.  Along the way, our hosts eschew their traditional sex jokes in favor of a much more high brow style of humor: farts and pee. 
Discussion topics not related to bodily functions include Chekhov's gun, magic fog trees, and geriatric West Side Story.
"The Red Room" was first published in The Idler magazine, in March 1896.
If you patronize us on Patreon you could be the one to put us over our March goal and earn a Campfire Classics Calendar.
Promo from Thanks I Hate It.  Learn more at tihipodcast.com
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

True Crimes and a Lie, Vol. 8

Welcome to True Crimes and a Lie, the gameshow within our podcast where we try to tell the difference between truth and lies.
We're not good at it.
This month's TCaaL comes from Episode 40 of Campfire Classics, and is full of bizarre twists and turns.
Our guest, Kevin, joins us from The Jury Room.  You can listen to him dissect true crime, conspiracies, and cults at JuryRoomPodcast.com, but will he be able to help heather discern fact from fiction?

Episode 40- Look at my Specimen Rod

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
We're back with another story, three more crimes (one of them a lie), and a whole lot of juvenile banter.
This week is March's "True Crimes and a Lie," but it is also our first story from one of the great American writers, Herman Melville.  This story was specially selected by Heather for Ken to read specifically because of its title, "The Lightning-Rod Man."  It is a wild ride with a couple of dramatic characters and a shocking number of jokes about the male reproductive organ.  Or maybe that's just our hosts reading something into it that wasn't there.
Regardless, it is a fantastic story, and along the way our hosts discuss the Great White Dick, green glass balls, and...yeah, it really is mostly euphemisms.  Though there is also a surprising amount of geography.
"The Lightning-Rod Man" was first published in Putnam's Monthly Magazine, August 1854, and despite being one of Melville's lesser known stories is a literary gem.
Kevin from The Jury Room guest as he tries his hand at "True Crimes and a Lie."  He's a great guest, but more importantly a great host of his own podcast, so check him out at JuryRoomPodcast.com 
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 39- The Dead Travel Fast

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
If it's Tuesday it must be...Munich?
This week, you'll be delighted to learn that Heather is going to attempt her German accent again.  Do you think it will be better than last time?  You'll have to listen to find out.  The story is from horror legend Bram Stoker, and in fact was first written to be part of his most famous book Dracula.  The story is called "Dracula's Guest".
As we work through the story, we address some important issues.  Like the value of theatre critics, what is the best transition music, and dyslexia 2.0.
"Dracula's Guest" was first published in 1914, 2 years after Stoker's death, as part of the collection Dracula's Guest and Other Weird Stories. But today, we're reading it out of the book Classic Horror Tales sent to us from Foggy Pine Books.  Visit them at www.foggypinebooks.com.
Promo: Breaking Down Bad Books (Host Nathan also recommended this week's story, so double shout out, please go support him)https://shows.acast.com/breaking-down 
And you can go hear Ken and Heather interviewed in the March 16th episode of Figure it Out with Julia Johnson.
https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/733vg-12af24/Figure-it-out-Podcast
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 38- Cuckoo in the Bean

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
As we near the 1 year mark of being quarantined from the world, let's look back at all the marvelous...
Nah, never mind, how about we just read another story.
This week, Ken gets to read an odd little story by the apparently famous (though we'd never heard of him) Ring Lardner.  "Haircut" is a charming, folksy, storyteller-y short story with more suspicious character crammed into 8 pages than you can shake a stick at (or some other olde timey idiom).
Along the way, Ken and Heather talk Music Man re-writes, grave robbing vengeance, and (stick around until the end) a Campfire Classics animal costume calendar.  
"Haircut" was first published  in 1925, and is his most republished and anthologized story.
Promo: Stolen From Me By Linseyhttps://www.stolenfrommepod.com/
And, if you can't wait for more of Ken's voice, head over to Plum Forest Podcast and listen to hime in episode 31, The River Rockhttps://www.plumforestpodcast.com/
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 37- Jealousy's a Green-Eyed Ghost

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Another week, another episode, another beautiful story read passably well by the team of Campfire Classics!
This week, Heather takes a crack at "The Shell of Sense" by Ghost Fiction author and American Suffragette Olivia Howard Dunbar.  The story goes places we weren't expecting, and takes ages getting a couple of places we were anxious to get.  Who the f**k is Theresa!? 
Other important questions include, 'What new awards categories should be established?' 'Who would you haunt?' and 'Why do my super powers suck?'
"The Shell of Sense" was published  in 1908, and today can be read in dozens of collections of ghost stories, short stories, and Dunbar anthologies.
Promo: Figure it Out
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

True Crimes and a Lie, Vol. 7

Welcome to True Crimes and a Lie, the gameshow within our podcast where we try to tell the difference between truth and lies.
We're not good at it.
This month's TCaaL comes from Episode 36 of Campfire Classics, though this recording has 2 1/2 minutes of extra audio not heard on the full episode.
Our guests Ashley and Jeff struggle to find a hint that will point them toward the correct answer.  Will they guess right?
Will you?

Episode 36- Don't Take the Hoonanny

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
A lot is going on this week.  First of all, it's the return of True Crimes and a Lie with special guest contestants Ashley Lawler and Jeff Verde!  Can you pick out the lie?  Will they?
Our story this week comes from author Frank R. Stockton and asks with its title a very important question: "The Lady, or the Tiger?"
Other questions we answer include, 'What was the first reality show?' 'What happens when you eat brunch too fast?' and 'Why is the king half a dick?'
"The Lady, or the Tiger?" was published  in the magazine The Century in 1882, and has been reprinted many, many times.
Promo: Crime Divers
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.
 
 

Episode 35- The Magical Mr. Electrico

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Welcome back.  This week we are treated to a surprisingly modern (for us) story.  "Asleep in Armageddon" was published in 1948, but through some interesting copyright loopholes, has entered the Public Domain early.  We also get some fascinating fun facts on Science Fiction literary legend Ray Bradbury.
Important topics of discussion this week include Heather's plan to join the Daily Show, a man with a magic sword, and what do you think "wreckage" means?
"Asleep in Armageddon" was published in 1948 in Planet Stories.
Promo: Booze and Ghouls
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 34- Lost in Translation

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
In a drastic departure from last week's episode, this week's author is gothic romance adventure novelist Robert Louis Stevenson.  "Thrawn Janet" is a short horror story written in Scots English and read (kinda) in this episode by Ken.  To hear his brief attempt at the original dialect and text head on over to patreon.com/5050ArtsProduction.
This episode covers a wide array of topics, from The Big Game, to who would you haunt if you came back as a ghost, to sitting in a bog with a book.
"Thrawn Janet" was published in 1881 and was later released in the collection The Merry Men, and Other Tales and Fables published in 1887.
Promo: Wine Dine and Storytime
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 33- Dynamite of the Soul

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Thank you for helping us pass 2,000 downloads!
We're hitting classic humorist P.G. Wodehouse this week!  Well, reading, not hitting.  He is dead and it would be weird to hit him.  We learn a lot about Sir Wodehouse while Heather makes a valiant effort to read his short story "Absent Treatment".  We tackle the world's first "Not" joke, the origins of the dancing feline musical, and what actually is the "Dynamite of the Soul"?
"Absent treatment" was published in Strand in March 1911 and can be found in the 1919 collection My Man Jeeves.
Promo: Curiosity Cake Podcast
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

True Crimes and a Lie, Vol.6

This episode comes from Campfire Classics' episode "A Gift to Humanity".  This is a special one, because for the first time Heather isn't working alone.  The ladies from Wine Dine and Storytime join in on the fun and try to figure out which stories are real.
Let us know how you did playing along at home.  And check out our guests show wherever you listen to podcasts.

Episode 32- A Gift to Humanity

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Happy six month anniversary!  We've been doing this for half a year. And we're celebrating by inviting some guests! The ladies from the podcast Wine Dine and Storytime help us play a round of "True Crimes and a Lie".  Who will win?
It's a new author this week, so you'll get to hear some fun facts about the fascinating Edith Wharton before Ken reads "Miss Mary Pask".  In all, it's an extra long action packed episode.  Heather plans a new career running an Air BnB, Ken tries to define "reverse necrophilia", and the greatest gift to humanity is...well, listen and let us know if you agree.
"Miss Mary Pask" was published in Pictorial Review in April 1925.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 31- Acetone High on the Yellow Brick Road

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
It's been a long couple of ...weeks? ...months? ...centuries? We could all use some self-care.  Hopefully, this will provide you with some simple joy.  This week, Heather gets to read two stories by the great L. Frank Baum. Though neither of them have anything to do with magic slippers.
Discussion topics include TED Talk Tangents, fancy chickens, and moist beatboxing.
"The Box of Robbers" and "The Glass Dog" were both published in the 1901 collection American Fairy Tales.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 30- Musty Hussies!

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
We're celebrating Public Domain Day!
On January first, a whole year worth of writing entered the public domain and became fair game for us to try to read.  Please join us in welcoming 1925 into the fold.  To celebrate, Heather has chosen to give Ken a short story from that year, "The Strange Case" by Edgar Wallace.  It will be a race to the finish as Ken tries to make it to the end before his sugar high runs out.
Today, your hosts struggle to remember what year it is, compare this week's author to a certain famous lifeguard, and definitely don't resort to making fart sounds.  Because that would be childish.
Oh!  And a thousand thank yous to our new patron, Stefan Brock.
"The Strange Case" was published in the 1925 collection The Mind of Mr. J.G. Reeder.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

True Crimes and a Lie, Vol.5

So here's an important question.  Can you tell fact from fiction?  Do you know the difference between real and fake news?  Test your senses in this edition of True Crimes and a Lie! a gameshow within a podcast, where Heather tries to pick the true crimes from the lie.
This episode comes from Campfire Classics Episode 29- Eight Miles in My Rear.

Episode 29- Eight Miles in My Rear

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
Welcome to 2021!  So glad you made it!
This week sees the long anticipated return of True Crimes and a Lie, our gameshow within a podcast where Ken shares three crime stories and Heather tries to guess which ones are real and which is fiction.  Then we get a story from Scottish author Hume Nisbet, whose name Ken has trouble pronouncing correctly.  This week's story is The Vampire Maid.
During the episode, your hosts discuss beatbox mastery, the return of the guillotine, and Heather has a near fatal laughing fit over a sophomoric butt joke.  So, business as usual. 
The Vampire Maid was published in 1900, and has been reprinted many times since.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 28- See You Next Tuesday

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
This is our farewell to a long year.
And we're coming back to an author we loved last time.  Mr. H.H. Munro, better known as Saki.  Ken gets to read two stories, "Laura" and "Sredni Vashtar" (how would you pronounce that name?)  This week, conversations include New Year's Resolutions, ejaculations in the kitchen area, and...did you hear that cat?  Ah well, see you next Tuesday!
"Sredni Vashtar" can be found in the 1912 collection The Chronicles of Clovis, "Laura" in the 1914 Beasts and Super-Beasts.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.

Episode 27- Crack is Whack: A Ghost Story

Welcome to Campfire Classics, a Literary Comedy Podcast!!
What is your favorite late December tradition?  Because this week, we've found a new one.
Taking up the torch of a centuries old British tradition, we're reading a ghost story for the holidays.  Spooky author M.R. James returns to give us some tips on writing, and Heather takes a pass at his short "Lost Hearts."  Ken tries not to roast his chestnuts, we learn a lot about architecture, and jokes are funnier when you explain them, right?
"Lost Hearts" was originally published in 1895. It was later collected in James' 1904 book Ghost Stories of an Antiquary.
Craig Kellberg once again contributes his musical talents. Listen for his sick Hurdy-Gurdy shredding.
So sit back, light a fire (or even a candle), grab a drink, and enjoy.